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A few weeks ago I registered to take the online qualifying test for Jeopardy.

Maybe like you, I have watched Jeopardy for years.

Maybe like you, members of my family have said, “You should be on this show.”

I was foolish enough to believe them.

I was scheduled for last night at 6PM.

I had written the entry password down somewhere, so the first job was to remember where I had put that slip of paper from two weeks ago. I went looking frantically around the house until Anne reminded me that I had put the number in my iCalendar. You would have thought my lack of memory about this would be a warning to me of what was to come.

Excited, I logged on at exactly 5:30, the earliest I could for my 6PM test. On the screen of my computer popped a timer counting down. With…